It's best to learn some lessons early...
Teen Girl: Ms. J, have you ever had a boy that is just sooooo stupid...
Ms. J: Sooooo stupid that what? Or just sooooo stupid in general?
Teen Girl: *giggling* Yeah, just stupid in general.
Ms. J: Heh, yes... in all my years I've had plenty of boys that are just sooooo stupid. It doesn't get much better the older they get either.
Teen Girl: *laughing* Ms. J!
Ms. J: What??? I'm just being honest!!!
*everyone laughs!*

Welcome back, FURILLA!


A conversation regarding the crazy schedule over the last few days...
Kid: What time you closing [insert name of friendly neighborhood teen librarian]?
Me: 8:00
Kid: Now that's the [FNTL] I know!!!

pre-teen girl 1: I need a free print card. I need to make some boy invitations.
pre-teen girl 2: Your granny let's you have boys over?
pre-teen girl 1: Yes. But my dad doesn't.
pre-teen girl 2: Of course not! You know how dads are.
pre-teen girl 1: Yeah. I know. Miss, you know how dads are right?
Me: Yeah. I know how dads are.
Both girls giggling.

Kid: Miss, why is the internet not working?
Me: I don't know.
Kid: Did y'all not pay y'all's rent?
(kids snickering)

Oh wait, yeah, this is a library and not just the free internet place...
Kid: Can you do a reference check for me?
Me: Huh?
Kid: Can you do a reference check for me?
Me: *slightly confused... reference check?* Sure. Whatcha need?
Kid: Can you look up The Hobbit by JRR Tolkien and tell me if it's in.
Me: Oh! Definitely!
HA! For a second I seriously thought to myself... I don't understand.


Ok, this was just too hilarious - a kid just shows up and wants a computer. I did a double-take b/c he was wearing a superman shirt and camouflage pants, but they are sort of polyester material. I said, "Oh, for a second, I thought you were wearing your pajamas." He looks sheepish for a second and goes, "Yeah, I forgot to change." Ha!!

Kid 1: Hassan's my best friend.
Hassan: Well, kind of.
Kid 1: When we go to college, I'm going to see him and punch him on the arm and say "Remember me?"
Ok, maybe it's not that funny written down, but it was pretty dang funny when he said it! I was just so happy to hear the kid say "when we're in college..." ;)

Thomas: *singing* I'm walking on shunshiiiiiiiiiiiiine, ooooooooooo, I'm walking on shunshiiiiiine, ooooooooo. It's time to feel good! A!
Drew: Man, shut up! This isn't Disney Channel.
Thomas: *singing* I'm walking on shunshiiiiiiiiiiiiine, ooooooooooo, I'm walking on shunshiiiiiine, ooooooooo. It's time to feel good! A!
Drew: muttering something apparently funny to Thomas
Thomas: *cough cough laughing* Man, you just gave me heartburn


Mother's Day
Kid: Miss, is the library going to be open tomorrow?
Me: Yes, but it's closed on Friday.
Kid: Oh, 'cause they told us at school that some libraries may be closed tomorrow because it's Mother's Day in Mexico.

First Date
I've been talking to a 4th grader - she got asked out by a boy for the first time today. They are going on a "date" Friday. I was joking and telling her she should come to the library so I could check him out and see if he "passes the test". She says, "He did, I passed the math part and he passed the reading."

It hasn't happened much lately, but every now and then I have to tell the kids not to put the cords from the head phones in the their mouth. I'm working on the laptop in the center, so I've been in here a while. I told a kid about an hour ago to not put the cord in his mouth. Wouldn't you know another kid just sat down at the SAME computer, I looked up and he has the cord in his mouth! I just started laughing and told him a kid just had it in his mouth...the look on the kids face was priceless. Don't think I'll have to worry about him putting it in his mouth anymore!

College Bound
I just found out that one of my high school kids was valedictorian of his class and he got a full ride to college!! Whenever he was here, he was either doing homework or scholarship research. That just makes my day!

Summer Reading Program
Two teenage boys just came in and said, "Miss, can we sign up for that reading thing yet?" The program materials were sitting on my desk and I said sure since I had the stuff. They were all excited and were like, "Can we start reading now?"


Just had a Heaven come in. She said her name and I go, "Ok, Heather" and she says, "No Heaven, like up there" (and points to the sky).

All you need is just a little...

A kid was just waiting for a computer to re-boot and starting clicking on the internet button before it was fully rebooted. I told him he had to have patience and his friend sitting next to him goes, "Yeah, you have to have patience. I don't even know how to spell that, but you have to have it."

I love some parents
Parent: Chuck, are you saggin'?
Chance: *pulls pants up*
Parent: Don't be saggin' your pants. Miss Jennifer, if you see Chuck saggin' his pants again you take him off the computer. He knows better than to wear his pants like that. I can't stand it!
Jenn: *grinning* Yes, sir. I can handle that.
Chuck: *glaring at the floor walking away*

I can't believe this - a lady just walks by my office and she's with her kid. The kid is probably 4. She looks at me and goes, "Can he be here?" and I said, "In the library? Sure, but he needs to be with you. It's library policy that kids under 8 need to be with an adult." (Left of the older sibling part since it was just the two of them). She looks all ticked off and says, "I'm just going to right over here [at a table] and he wants to be in the children's area." I didn't really know what to say, so again I said that he needed to be with her.

I could tell she was getting really ticked and then she says, "Can I go ask a librarian up front?" I'm not sure what she was expecting, but I told her they'd say the same thing. She kind of rolled her eyes and she walked off. All of a sudden the little kid comes back, sticks his head in my door and goes, "Your rude!" and walks off!!! I was shocked!

The Thief Lord
Me: Don't forget we're watching a movie today at 2 pm Kid: What movie is it?
Me: The Thief Lord Kid: I think I've seen it beforeMe: It wasn't in the theater, it went straight to DVD and it's pretty new, so it might be something else you're thinking of.
Kid: No, my aunt and uncle are Christian, so I think they rented it and we watched it.
Me: Well, even though it has "Lord" in the title, it's not really a Christian movie.
Kid: Oh, well I still think we watched it.

That made me crack up; I hope other kids don't think it's a church movie!

April is Poetry Month
For poetry month if the kids write a poem, i give them a book. Here's one of the poems i've gotten.

There was an old man he had a
dog and the old man ate
the poooooop.

Then the old man's
mom came in and
spanked him.

we've got some budding poets here, i'll tell ya.

Shawn (says to other guy): "You gotta read, man. Runescape is about reading, not just playing".

Aintie Sayz
last night i had a group of older kids come in (they are my once a week late crew) at 7 p.m. and ask to get on a computer. Of course! So I switch 5 kids out and the "late group" in. The 5 kids that were switched off decided to leave. They had been here for a while anyway. Right when they left this young lady comes flyin' in to the center and says, "Aintie says yall better get back to church or she's gonna come down here and embarrass yall." One of the kids yells back no she didn't and the little girl says, "yes she did. i'm not playin'. said she would come up in here and embarrass yall if you didn't get back to church... NOW." All the teens (mostly boys) look around at each other and bolt from the center. It was the funniest thing.

Be Mine
An 8yr old girl just gave me a Valentine! It's awesome. On the front is a pot growing stems with hearts as the flowers.
Inside it says "Una persona sin amigos es como un libro que nadie lea. -Elma"

"A person with no friends is like a book that nobody reads."

The envelope has two chocolate hearts taped to it. I was having a good day already, but now I really am.

Permission Slips
Dakoda: Hey Miss Jenn... Can you sign something for me?
Miss Jenn: Depends on what it is.
Dakoda: I need to find people to work nacho night.
Miss Jenn refrains from commenting and subject disappears. Miss Jenn is thankful she is NOT in the habit of randomly signing things or she would have signed up to work nacho night!


Ok... so there is this awesome young man
that started coming in at the beginning of the school year with his nephews (he's 15 and the "nephews" think it is hilarious they can call him their uncle) to get on the computers. Leo came in one day and asked if I could help him with a project. Well sure I can! After that I noticed he rarely came in and when he did it wasn't to play on the computers anymore it was only when he needed help on a project. Needless to say, I don't see him all that much anymore. His first project was really cool... he had to make up his own Greek God or Goddess. The assignment gave them complete creativity but you know how some kids (and grown ups) are... they have the worst time getting the creative juices flowing. So, I basically just asked him a bunch of questions about the project. He did it all himself and his illustration was unbelievable. Anyway, he finally told me today that he made a 95 on that first project!!!!!!!!!!! Score!!!! Just one of those things that kind of touched my heart I guess. I feel like I'm who he goes to for homework help now. And because of that I might be helping him improve his grades! I'm not his tutor and I don't DO the work for him I just point him in the right direction to get it done and done right.... And he doesn't abuse it. I see him like maybe once a month now. He came in Tuesday for some more help and we got about half-way through and he had to go, said he would come back. Showed up today, we found him some info and he left. Said he could write the paper at home. Just makes me feel all mushy inside to think that some of my kids don't just come in for the computer... they come in for me! "I have no idea how to do this project... what am I gonna do? *gasp* I can go to the library! Miss Librarian will be able to help me figure this out!!!" Ok, so that probably isn't the dialogue running through their head but it works for me. = )

Dragons Are Not Real

I just had a lady with her 4th grader ask me for some dragon books. I said, "You mean dragon stories?" and the mom says, "No, real information about dragons." I was trying to be really polite and tell her that since dragons aren't really real, that we would have some books probably close to the fairy tales. We found a couple and she seemed satisfied, but I'm pretty darn sure she still thinks they are real.... ;)

The Lottery
A kid comes in yesterday (he's 13) and says he needs to find the temperature for Austin from January until now. Upon further questioning, he says he really only needs the weather for Wednesdays and Saturdays. We find the weather data pretty easily and then he says he needs the humidity for those days too, which was a little harder to find, but we found it. He mentions that he's looking up this info for his dad. I happen to look at the paper he's working from and notice it says something about Lotto numbers from January to now as well as the weather info. I asked him (totally neutrally, I hope) if his dad was trying to figure out if there was a correlation between the weather and lotto numbers. He said, yes, that his dad was working on a formula to help him win the lottery based on the weather!

Ladies Man
I have this little kid that has started coming to the library, he's Hispanic and hardly speaks any english. It is SO cute though - he walks around with an adult sized fanny pack on! He looks like such the ladies man...

Kid 1: I'm addicted to myspace.
Kid 2: You got your own space?


He's actually a quite, nice kid...
I can hardly believe it, but I have had to ask another patron to leave today.
Charles (teen, wears large "diamond" earring) for reasons that I cannot understand, decided to take off his pants in the computer area.
I asked him what he was doing, and he argued with me for 5 minutes that his pants were simply too big and fell off "by accident" and he refused to make any sort of effort to hold his pants up.
I told him he had to leave for the day. Unbelievable.

Ghostrider a.k.a. paperclip boy
I just had a kid ask me if I thought he could get the world record for having the longest chain made out of paperclips. We looked it up on Guinness and couldn't find a record, so he said he wants to be the one to have it. Itold him he'd need a lot of paperclips to make it a record. Immediately following that statement I heard, "Miss, can I borrow your paperclips?" That would be a negative Ghostrider... (sorry, top gun is on the brain!):) It just made me laugh that he thought I'd give him my paperclips just tomake a chain!

(A friend of paper clip boy just came and asked me if I had any paper clips. I said, "Are they for Eddie?" and he just starting grinning. Again, negative Ghostrider.)

There are 2 11 year old kids who are planning their first kiss. The kids here are just buzzing about it. They all want to go watch and they're talking about how the boy is probably going to chicken out. It is so cute!
They just kissed. The girls ran back in here to tell me. Then the boys ran over there to check it out.

Kid comes in at 4:40, asks for a computer. Can he wait until 5? No. He's leaving then.

What does he need? Spark Notes for "Julius Caesar." I hand him an extra copy of the Cliff Notes for Shakespeare's "Julius Caesar" I happen to have hanging around (left over from my own kids' high school days). He says, no I don't want that, because I have to have the original language.

I told him it's just the same (I open the table of contents and show him). But no, it's got to be Spark Notes. He finds an open non-homework computer for 15 minutes and proceeds to print out Spark Notes at $.20 per page.

Honestly, I did try!

Birth Day
I have two home schooled girls that come to the library just about every day. One of them is really in to matmice.com where you can make your own website and she's always looking for things to put on her site. She was logging on to the computer and said, "Look, I found a site where you can get your own calendar. You just put in your birthday and it marks off the days until it's your birthday."
I looked at the site she was logging on to: fertilityfriend.com!!! I tried so hard not to laugh but couldn't help it, I started cracking up. I told her that I didn't think that was what she was looking for, that it was a site for people trying to get pregnant. She freaked out a little and said she didn't know that and then started laughing too. I had to go to the staff room to get all my giggles out....well, ok, I'm STILL laughing, it was hilarious!

Same as it ever was
Art: Miss, do you get paid for this?
Me: Yes, this is my job.
Art: Oh, I thought it was community service or something...
Me: No, this is my job. I get paid to be here.

Random Conversation
Alex and Betsy are twins, probably 6th grade.
Betsy: Mom's coming to pick us up at 8
Alex: Where are you going?
Betsy: No where. Why do you think I'm going somewhere?
Alex: You got that look like you gonna try to go somewhere.
Betsy: No, I'm goin out here with Essence.
Random Kid: Dang, you sound like her babysitter.
Alex: I am. She always trippin' tryin to go somewhere. She don't need to go nowhere.
Me: Alex, you are such a good brother.
Alex: *blank stare*

Let Us Share
14-year old girl working on myspace.com:
"Miss, how do you spell share?"
Me: s-h-a-r-e ...couple of minutes pass...
"Miss, how do you spell lettuce"
Me: l-e-t-t-u-c-e
I wanted to so badly to ask her the connection, but I restrained myself!!

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